Archive for Family


Since my mum started blogging at WordPress, she’s been unstoppable. Even going as far as to start posting pics of me. Im really going to have to have a word…


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Hep C Boy

A friend of mine started a blog a while back to document his Hepatitis C treatment. He discovered he’s had it for maybe 20yrs and is, imo, writing a fucking killer blog about it.

Glad to see week 4 went ok, minus the odd sleep patterns hcb…

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The Scream of the Ambulance

Remember the Stones’ song “Sister Morphine”? It’s one of my all time favorites, and just as in that song, last night, as we raced across the country side with sirens screaming and lights flashing, i felt like i was in some kind of drug induced daze…

How could this be happening? What started out as a great day for me and my 10mt old daughter while Ivana was out of town almost ended in tragedy.

The Story

We’d had a pretty good day. We’d fed the chickens, walked the dogs, built a big fire in an old oil drum and burnt a load of garden rubbish and were back indoors for the rest of day for our tea and more games.

It was getting cold so i lit our wood stove, put the guard safely around it and left Robyn going “bab bab bab bab” in Bailey’s ear. (talking to our boxer/labrador is a favorite game) while i went into the kitchen to have a fag and a cup of coffee.

When it all went quiet for a little while i began to suspect that something was amis and went into the living room. Robyn was sat by the fireplace with what looked like a wad of postit notes in here hand. As i got closer, i realized it was a solid brick of parrafin firelighter stuff! I got it out of her hands, and breathed a sigh of relief.

No so fast…

Then i noticed the white on her lips – immediately got her on her front and stuck my finger in her mouth only to find it absolutely crammed with the stuff – I got the worst of it out on the spot, then we rushed into the bathroom and were held over the sink while i scooped up water into her mouth and alternately probed in there for more parrafin. I got pretty far into her throat aswell, reasoing that it was pretty fucking bad to start with, and a bruised throat wasn’t going to make the situation any worse, and might make it a bit better.

Calling a Danish Ambulance Service in English

So i picked up the phone and dialled ‘112’, had to shout over robyn’s crying. (crying cos of me getting it out of her mouth) and eventually had to put her down and go into antother room, again reasoning that it was more important to get this deal rolling than comfort Robyn right now. It was ok with the operator as they already had the address on the computer, i just had to confirm it was correct and tell them what happend.

The Ambulance

When the ambulance arrived, i was out on the street with Robyn waiting to flag them down. As they got out I led them into the house to show them what had happened as i had no idea of their English speaking ability, and this one guy just said “ok, you coming with us!”.

We got in and sped off at a speed i’d not have wanted to do myself or with anyone but trained pro’s down small country lanes, little hamlets then larger towns. Robyn started to act sleepy which had me on the verge of a fucking breakdown in the ambulance, i really thought i’d just killed my daughter.

Turns out she was just shy of the ambulance guy in the back with us though, cos after she’s gotten over that it was fun, games and general shouting as usual. I asedk them if we should be making her sick? The guy said maybe, but they didn’t have the equipment! – This was FALCK, a company contracted to do this, not trained paramedics in a kitted out rig – sheeesh… if she’d ingested any, it was going to be in her bloodstream by the time we made it to NyKøbing as it was a 25min ride away even at the speed we were going…

At the Hospital

Well, we got there and the nurses and doctor were not actually too worried. They said that this stuff (we’d bought the box and a sample in) was not really very dangerous unless it got into the lungs, and that can sometimes happen when the child is being sick and choking. So, they told me to give her lots of full fat milk, and feed her some mashed potato from the canteen with LOTS of butter in it, as the fat would help soak up any bad stuff in her stomach and cushion it a bit – she ate a portion of mash i’d have found it hard to eat!

They wanted us there for 6hrs observation so we played with all the toys, met the other children and generally had a lovely time till bed – took a while to get her off to sleep but when she did finally nod off, she was breathing normally and all looked well.

Mrs W

Ivana came in about 10pm – she’d been at a funeral 3hrs drive away all day and there was no point calling her and giving her somethng to panick about whilst driving so she only learnt of it around 7:30 i guess – she was cool about it, and no blame (particularly) was dealt, though i certainly felt i deserved some.

We took Robyn home at 11pm and she slept fine till 6am this morning. She’s been normal an happy all day.

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Home Alone

Crikey, for the first time I have Robyn devil child all to myself for an
entire day! Dont’ get me wrong, i think we’re going to have a
wonderful day, and i’ve lined up some cool things for us to do, it’s just a
bit daunting when the longest Ivana has been away has been about 4/5hrs so far. Today, she left at 8am and won’t likely be back till 9pm – Eeek!

Robyn’s sleeping now, which is cool, she’s lots more fun after a good nap :)


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